I'm bored, so...Goon's movie review. This week, "Timeline".

[Paragon101st]

Oh my god.

This movie had so much going for it, such a cool plot. Apparently, it's based off a book, whatever the heck that is. But to summarise the plot:

A College Professor (Billy Connolly) leads an college archeological dig on a castle that was the centre of a war between France and England in the year 1357. When he suddenly disappears, his college students and son (Paul Walker) find some documents and a lens from a pair of glasses. Both these items came from *drum fill* the year 1357 (cue spooky music).

A short plane ride later, and the group finds themselves in the building of ITC, some technological conglomerate that has designed a "Teleporter" that is capable of breaking down objects into electrons and sending them to another place (Read: Fax Machine). However, this device has managed to tap into some kind of wormhole, that actually dumps off whatever it sends through to the year *cue spooky drum fill* 1357.

Now, rather intelligently I may add, the Professor decides to go back to 1357, to see what it was like from a close up Point of View. However, he gets stuck. So, the group of students, another teacher, and the son go back *cue idiotic acting, bad dialogue, and a desire to leave the movie early*. You can probably guess how the movie ends, but I don't want to "spoil" it for anyone.

You know, this really shit me. This movie was directed by Richard Donner, the braniac behind Superman I and II, and the 4 Lethal Weapon films. Upon that knowledge, I went in thinking the movie would actually be okay. Boy, was I wrong.

RATING: Mojo's Monkey.


Rating Legend: Explosive's Mum (Top Ranking, Great, Awesome)
Zsinj's Llama (Good)
Para's Aardvark (Fair)
Mojo's Monkey (Poor)
Sammo's Sonic Avatar (...) *runs*

[Azz]

geez was it that bad, i was goin to see it tomorrow...last time some1 gave 1 of these warnings to me they were right (matrix 3, fuk that movie was gay)

[zsinj]

well as someone who quite enjoys bad films (the last movie i saw and enjoyed, vlad, go out and rent it now...watch it...enjoy the badness) i quite look forward to enjoying the horribleness that timeline sounds like it will be...i'll probably dupe some unsuspecting friend into paying for the ticket though...

[Explosive]

I read the book at it was quite good (Sinks Llama) so i had high expectations for th movie.

Damn wish it was good.

Still havent seen the third Matrix movie

[Jantar]

Yeah, I read the book ages ago and quite enjoyed it. Sighs. Dumb Hollywood producers thinking that they can actually write their own stories. Someone needs to slap this guy upside his face.

w3rd.

[XcoR]

Can't be as bad as the love story in Star Wars Ep II or the love story in Matrix Revolutions... my god.

EDIT: Ya damn straight this is Pary *accidently* using XcoR's account o.O

[Azz]

i didnt mind sw 2 because it had a decent story...but matrix 3 omg it was so gay

[SuperSammo]

I'd like give you a big

[Azz]

all i need to say is







anyone

[zsinj]

alf is gay

[Azz]

so true

[SuperSammo]

[Explosive]

hil-fucking-arious, sammo

[Azz]

i second that

[Explosive]

i third that

[snip_01]

well whos seen that movie "The Punisher" sorry to changethe subject but im new and dont know what your talking about so i just have to

[Paragon101st]

Read my review in the off topic thread under "Warm fuzzies" Snip

[Explosive]

yeah, you fucking nub

[XcoR]

rofl, gg to that.. BIHATCHES MUAAHAH!H!H!$H$!H%%%@%^% ^&#$^!@%$@%T*!$*@$

*dies*