The Art Of Pissing

[Gelf]

Yes I remember doing this before. But I don't keep my old threads so I'm going to REDO it.

The Autopilot - The last thread's claim to fame. Simply take a piss without using your hands to guide the urination, preferably minimal use of your hips as well. Rather, rely on the natural direction that your penis decides to point, and try your hardest to get it to point the right way. Useful for when your in a rush, and you don't wanna waste time washing your hands. Lots of practice is needed to perfect this technique, and you'll go through many urine soaked toilet floors to be the ultimate autopilot.

The Fast N The Furious - A rarity, but if you can pull it off, you'll get some very pleasing results. While your taking a piss... sneeze. The sudden pull of your stomach muscles will force your piss out at an alarming rate, and will definitely take you by suprise. Impress your friends by pissing 20 feet into the air!

Spring Action - Don't you hate it when it's a hot day and your dick ends up sticking to your balls? Spring Action takes advantage of this situation, and is actually a modification of The Autopilot. Pull down your pants, and think naughty thoughts to evoke an erection. Your dick will 'spring' into action, breaking free of your balls/leg and you'll be set to go The Autopilot! Care must be taken to ensure you don't end up pissing all over yourself while trying to get your 'spring', don't jump the gun.

Around The Corner - Dicks are bendy, and will end up being in many awkward shapes, especially if you just woke up. Compensate for the temporary misdirection of your urination by moving your hips to the side. But why stop there? Push your skills to the limit and see if you can still compensate correctly with the seat down. Even better, see if you can still accomplish this feat a few feet away from the toilet bowl. Avoid performing this technique at public urinals, you'll end up staring at your neighbour, and he won't be very fond of that. Unless it's Scream.

This is all I could think of, I think I had more before, but I couldn't think of any other ways I take a piss. Add your own anecdotes, I know you have them.