I'm bored, so...Goon's movie review. This week, "Timeline".

[Paragon101st]

Oh my god.

This movie had so much going for it, such a cool plot. Apparently, it's based off a book, whatever the heck that is. But to summarise the plot:

A College Professor (Billy Connolly) leads an college archeological dig on a castle that was the centre of a war between France and England in the year 1357. When he suddenly disappears, his college students and son (Paul Walker) find some documents and a lens from a pair of glasses. Both these items came from *drum fill* the year 1357 (cue spooky music).

A short plane ride later, and the group finds themselves in the building of ITC, some technological conglomerate that has designed a "Teleporter" that is capable of breaking down objects into electrons and sending them to another place (Read: Fax Machine). However, this device has managed to tap into some kind of wormhole, that actually dumps off whatever it sends through to the year *cue spooky drum fill* 1357.

Now, rather intelligently I may add, the Professor decides to go back to 1357, to see what it was like from a close up Point of View. However, he gets stuck. So, the group of students, another teacher, and the son go back *cue idiotic acting, bad dialogue, and a desire to leave the movie early*. You can probably guess how the movie ends, but I don't want to "spoil" it for anyone.

You know, this really shit me. This movie was directed by Richard Donner, the braniac behind Superman I and II, and the 4 Lethal Weapon films. Upon that knowledge, I went in thinking the movie would actually be okay. Boy, was I wrong.

RATING: Mojo's Monkey.


Rating Legend: Explosive's Mum (Top Ranking, Great, Awesome)
Zsinj's Llama (Good)
Para's Aardvark (Fair)
Mojo's Monkey (Poor)
Sammo's Sonic Avatar (...) *runs*